the green street ultimatum

It's the gash that keeps on gushing, so it seems. Last Wednesday -- despite all the this one matters only for them and not us placebos given -- managed to hurt, well...like a motherfucker, truthfully. It's Mexico, after all. So deep had the wounds felt, they managed to suffocate an altogether joyous announcement, and perhaps too what would have been a modest sedative. And so, in searching amidst all the rubble and remains and cups of urine thrown, what hath been recouped? Why, the League Cup's 2nd round draw, of all things.


1 West Bromwich Albion v Rotherham United
2 Norwich City v Sunderland
3 Tranmere Rovers v Bolton Wanderers
4 Queens Park Rangers v Accrington Stanley
5 Bristol City v Carlisle United
6 Leyton Orient v Stoke City
7 Port Vale v Sheffield Wednesday
8 Hull City v Southend United
9 Leeds United v Watford
10 Cardiff City v Bristol Rovers
11 Portsmouth v Hereford United
12 Crystal Palace v Manchester City
13 Wolverhampton Wanderers v Swindon Town
14 Gillingham v Blackburn Rovers
15 Blackpool v Wigan Athletic
16 Southampton v Birmingham City
17 Preston North End v Leicester City
18 Newcastle United v Huddersfield Town
19 West Ham United v Millwall
20 Hartlepool United v Burnley
21 Nottingham Forest v Middlesbrough
22 Reading v Barnsley
23 Swansea City v Scunthorpe United
24 Doncaster Rovers v Tottenham Hotspur
25 Peterborough United v Ipswich Town


Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod. The proprietor of this fix deserves a medal or a key to a city or something. The coals here are obviously stoked, enough so for one to expect a chronicling of some sort, if the broadcasting/streaming gods do so oblige. Now damnit, where the hell's Frodo when you need him?

i waver, i quake

With all due respect, the Carling Cup has long been a form of English subterfuge. Today, it appears withered to nothing more than respite for Tottenham's annual incompetence, and further crow for their fans to down in defiance to Spurs being dubbed (correctly) as but a mere cup team. 'Cept this year, they probably have no shot at hardware. An Avram Grant-helmed Chelsea is a shit-ton different than the current incarnation of Manchester United, as of now biding in vanilla until silver's familiar shine emerges.

I suppose Man U winning the final has it's advantages, in that a far worthier side will procure the UEFA Cup spot and justice's pendulum will remain unhindered. It's not even entirely inconceivable that, given a kindred FA Cup result, 'arry somehow absolves Spurs into the soon-to-be all-coveted 7th position, conveniently also the current cutoff between class and clusterfuckery in the table.

That said, the competition's true essence remains fuddled by it's own conception. Eccentricity certainly hasn't been the tournament's forte, with only Middlesbrough's first-ever trophy from 04 really making waves, and even that led to the Steve McClaren era (that acshent, though!). Naturally, this void means the tournament's finals end up barnburners anyway. Last year was an upset determined in injury time, the year preceding even better with a fully proper triumverate of last-ten-minutes winner, concluding African civil unrest featuring three dismissals, and John Terry getting douched in the mouth. Compare that with The Magic Of The FA Cup!, mother to a lone duo of corresponding Magical! finals in the last decade.


But mock it all I want, the FA cup annually retains relevance and grandeur through unlimited admission and oldest-tourney-ever distinction. Can't buy that kind of antiquity, though something tells me a century from now the Carling Cup will still be a bridesmaid, legs to the sky at the reception (remains to be seen whether Tottenham will depict Vince Vaughn or Owen Wilson. Or Christopher Walken. Yeah.....probably Walken). I can't say I'm entirely sure she (Carling) wants a groom, either, or that there's even a suitable man out there for her, period.

And analogies aside, with the Fair Play Award, England had, count them, nine teams playing in Europe this season, a straight Anglo circle jerk if there's ever been. Spurs are still alive, of course (out of seven remaining), and I suppose that's my qualm-that whoever wins the 2009 Carling Cup will have done so under highly obtuse pretenses, and wondering if at some point any victor won't have. Do any of the 92 teams sanctioned for it hold this competition in the highest, if any, regard, and if not, shouldn't we feel a little betrayed? If your team finished in a rather underwhelming position through 38 games of league play but won this competition and thus booked a ticket abroad, you probably don't, and shouldn't I guess.

But for the rest of us? We could've perhaps seen some sort of foreshadowing tomorrow in the FA but both teams have been bled dry by injury, so indulge me if you will. Manchester United wins on March 1, pads Sralex's ego further and sends Ronaldo into deeper despair (it's as though he's got the nerve to have grown weary of winning in a red shirt because it's not blanco), plus Man U wins, and fuck that. Or Tottenham wins, secures Europa again, petitions for big clubdom again, fails by finishing anywhere from 5th to 17th again, find themselves in Carling final, rinse, lather, repeat. Neither particularly floats my boat either, chief, which places us in the always-intriguing negatively-neutral camp. And the thing is, the path of this wayward cyst is not beset on all sides by amendments nor advancements to the cause, and so the engagement remains staggered in time, equal parts cryptic and lethargic.


--a great thanks to the services of Alonzo Mourning, Willy Sagnol, and Jeff Kent in their respective sporting pastures, all of whom succumbed to retirement's brisk vice in the past week or so (Zo and Kent yesterday). Much could be said pertaining to all three, but will be postponed for procrastination's purposes. Or just won't be said. We'll see.