idly wild or wildly idle?

While it's indeed absolutely righteous that the ol' Stars n' Stripes managed to pin whatever demons they had been wrestling against the Egyptians (and thanks, Brazil!) and offered themselves the opportunity to toreador against the running of the silky and insurmountable Spanish bulls, the fact remains that the country's domestic league has been rendered a forgotten soldier, blanched and drowned out by the androgynous moan of the vuvuzela. There's only five MLS players in South Africa right now, so there's really no excuse; if teams aren't at full strength (save Chivas, maybe the Galaxy), it's due to injury or lack of form or everything but the C-Fed Cup.

The league has reached puberty, dominated by the bush and anxious as a motherfucker, so there's plenty of goings-on in the ever-crucial adolescent identity department to hold one's amusement. Besides the actual league itself, clubs are well underway in constructing a foundation; not tactically, but eugenically, philosophically, and its making the league a rather fine summer accompaniment (or substitute) for baseball (which I can't even take seriously or watch subjectively anymore). It's not even as though there's a litany of good teams across the league, because there's really only a couple that have performed themselves deserving of that mundane title. The road to success in MLS is still paved through defense and apropos - as nearly every league in the world save the top 3 or 4 is, mind you - with only the occasional fit of brilliance waxing decisive, and so it's fitting hale ol' Houston sit atop the table with Preki's Chivas nipping at their heels. Both are perennially good and if not for a plague of injury arguably would have contended for that West crown New York so dubiously claimed last year. The Dynamo have always left an odd taste in my mouth because of the locale switch, though, especially now that there's another Earthquakes, so they aren't near endearing to me as Chivas. Probably helps that I live in LA, have attended multiple games this season, and have started to refer to the side as "we"; but come on, I'm not about deny myself local footballing subjection, and who'd support the fucking Galaxy if given a choice not to?


My Goats bias aside, there's other teams worthy of this upper-tier discussion. Columbus is obviously quality, as they have the near-exact same side as last year's champions, and are even more obviously just working out the kinks of a new regime. Blanco and McBride will always keep Chicago an interesting side, and DC are the league's diligent metronome (who lost the beat slightly last year), displayed from the outset when they were the only team to not attach a hokey American team name to the end of their city. And then there's the Sounders - the savior, the enlightened triumphant. They warrant another post themselves entirely for what they've accomplished. Expansion be damned, they went out and procured players that would amass positive results, and promptly. Kasey Keller and his Olympia birth were a geographical gift, but beyond that it's been straight and utter intuition. I remember seeing the expansion draft's results and being rather impressed with their haul, they've gotten further outstanding returns from their Latin American excursions (Montero, Hurtado, Alonso), and Freddie has provided the designated player rule the name, face, and play it needed to survive beyond its last provisional year before assessment (lots of understated help from Schelotto, too). Sigi might be a mercenary, but if you had a gun to your temple and but one hour to form an MLS XI, you'd get him on the phone before anyone else, right?

The not-so-good teams, the lower bourgoisie scratching and surviving to keep pace and find distinction amongst the rank and file? They're only gonna further damage the facade shielding my true ignorance about the MLS, if I haven't enough already. Colorado, Toronto, Salt Lake, Kansas City; how slippery my grasp of all ye be! Is Colorado still Arsenal USA? Can they just run with that, take Manny Eboue on loan or something? Salt Lake has Kyle Beckerman, which has potential if and only if they answer Kyle's prayers and surround him with solely Jamacians and let him and the Reggae Boyz romp about Utah and raise the Mormons up out of their burrows. The only team amidst the medial muck with some sort of defined complexion is New England, which in turn is quite nice to revel in because Taylor Twellman's smug-ass industry makes my god damn blood boil. But in watching these mediocre teams the little I have, you get the sense they're getting the sense, that they'll catch up with their shadow and achieve parity with the elite, which even if it never happens is compelling enough in itself.


The four shite teams are even fascinating in their shiteness. The Galaxy are everything they're cracked up to be: a trainwreck joke, a tragicomedy at its apex, the sand in Los Angeles' panties after a trip to the beach. It delights me everyday, the thought of Beckham coming back to this. LA, for what it's worth, has developed thanks to Donovan Ricketts this bewildering affinity for draws, nine from their fourteen played; i.e. sitting on the fence, the ultimate denial of a solution, pretty much encapsulating their current mindset to a tee. Dallas if nothing else are the resident "star player putting up numbers on a bad team" team, which would reflect lowly on Kenny Cooper if soccer were basketball and scoring were inevitable. But even the doldrums have kindly rounded the league out and attributed to giving this season a story, a fortified plot to flush out and follow stronger than any other of the league's first baker's dozen. Might get a little turbulent during Superliga and then the Champions League and Open Cup, but nothing severe or life-altering, and not knowing what's to follow is the reason we watch anyway, isn't it? Supporting soccer in America should never just be about the national team; it's bifurcated with MLS, simple as that.